The Importance of a Hobby

A rock-bottom aspect of the self in American culture is being able to give a reply concerning a vocation to the ubiquitous social query, “What do you do?” 

In a psychiatric unit, one does nothing of one’s normal adult work. One’s only contribution there to the people (s)he loves is by giving the products made in art therapy…. (Of course, there can be the sizable contribution of learning from one’s past mistakes and thereby being kinder to one’s family and friends upon discharge....)

Furthermore, a day or even several hours spent doing nothing but being a passive onlooker at television or social media does not yield any sense of accomplishment.

Developing one or more skills, whether they involve creating (food, writing, artwork, handiwork, etc.) or learning (whether religious knowledge perhaps, or readiness for remunerative employment), results in higher valuation of you by others. And greater self-esteem.

Disclosing a Psychiatric Disability in the Context of Interviewing or a Job

While the Americans with Disabilities Act, and perhaps similar legislation in other nations, confers rights to be accommodated to people with invisible disabilities as well as those with visible, I do not suggest that you avail yourself of such rights. There is simply too much prejudice against people who are thought of as “mentally ill.”

The exception is in the governmental context, where in the United States it is the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 that gives the authorization. Governmental jobs, being more subject to bureaucracy, also yield less bias in the workforce. Finally, sometimes governmental agencies actually provide affirmative action preferences in hiring to those who self-disclose as having a disability. Such agencies have systems in place to follow through with reasonable accommodations, not according to the letter of the law but in the spirit of righteousness.

"Character Will Tell"

In the long run, you will not have any educational degrees, awards, or other honors that you have earned. In the long run, you will not have access to your financial assets. Nor professional reputation nor fame. 

In the long run, you will not be remembered for what you have and had, but for what you are and were—your “being” will remain, not your “having.”

What you will leave behind you is only the memory of your character. Not attainments, but only character, will tell. Good deeds, not facile speech.

If you have family, they will remember you—but only by your character. And many people, including myself, believe that G-d will remember you by how hard you tried to have good character. G-d will look at your degree of effort, your struggles, not by counting the failures you had in climbing towards your aim for good character.

What If You “Can’t Stand” a Member of Your Family?

I’ve been there myself. No matter what the cause with a blood relative, make up your antipathy and reconcile, before the next month’s calendar page turns. Death can intercede at any time; your ability to change the situation will thereby cease. 

You can never replace your family member. Moreover, he or she may love you very much indeed, and no one else can give you that individual’s particular perception of you.

We are defined by the attributes that others reflect to us. As William Butler Yeats wrote in “For Anne Gregory,”

“…only God, my dear/Could love you for yourself alone/And not your yellow hair.”